what I do

So I am choreographing this show. And among the MULTITUDE of issues I have had with this production - which I have posted elsewhere . . . there is THIS little doozy:

In the final song we kill off a five year old child by means of diptheria. Hard enough to dance to that - harder still to do it at polka tempo. Who the hell wrote this thing? MY GOD! I'm having a hard enough time icing a kindergartener without having to do it at warp speed in an 1800's dance hall.

Then there is THIS beauty: Director calls me over to look at the script and says, "What are we gonna do here?"

There are two things wrong with that question. One) she is asking ME - the choreographer - which means - two) she has no idea. So I take a look and see this little note in the script: small light cue to indicate passage of time.

Yeah, like turning on a damn spotlight is going to explain that ten years have suddenly passed. I look at the director, laugh and shrug. She says, "Come on - help me out." Help her OUT? She has 5 seconds to move through a decade . . . like I can make that happen.

So I suggest we have Wayne and Garth step out wiggle their fingers for a dream sequence, and make that "doodly do" noise. Director does not even smile - but hey I tried.

Oh and have I mentioned the horse? The DANCING horse? Maybe I'll just leave that for another time.