stupid illness

So I have this fibromyalgia thing. It is mostly a minor annoyance, but has become a giant pain in the ass as of late. It has not been this bad for about 15 years. Last time I tried to actually do anything about it, I went stark-raving-mad, because I was not allowed to eat anything - and I mean anything, but raw fruit.

Since I am pushing the limits of what I can physically handle and still keep my rather demanding job (which consists of demonstrating leaps over the head of 15 year-old hockey players), I thought I should check out any new developments in the field of my disorder.

After extensive research, I find that nothing has really changed in the last decade and a half - the same old advice still holds true. It goes something like this . . . ."if you are reading this website, it sucks to be you. You will continue to have chronic pain, with no explanation, and no forseeable treatment. Keep complaining about it, because that is the only fricking thing you can do."

There is, however this handy list of things I should avoid:

Patients of Fibromyalgia should avoid the following

Eating hot, spicy and fried foods, sweets, foods like cabbage, Cauliflower, spinach, broccoli, okra and potatoes. All dairy. Anything with yeast or gluten. Tomatoes, chili peppers, watermelon, beets, carrots and eggplant. Legumes. Meat. Tea, coffee, alcohol, white sugar, yogurt, chocolate, cocoa. Sleeping during the day and staying up late at night Mental tensions like worry, anxiety, fear, stress and grief.

*This diet may not work for everyone - but has helped several Fibro patients with their symptoms.

WHAT THE HELL? Probably helped them with their symptoms, because the hunger pains were so acute they couldn't feel the pain in their knee. Or maybe they went blind from malnutrition so they don't notice the migranes. And wouldn't stressing all day about what sort of meal you could possibly put together with no, meat, vegetables, dairy or gluten cause just a MINOR amount of worry, anxiety, fear, stress and grief?

That diet only allows me to eat the occasional organic cucumber and the cord to my laptop. No wonder I never seem to get any better.