I'm going through my old toybox. The jester and the princess want to see my "treasures," and there are many: my teddy bear Harvey, the Mrs. Ticklefeather Book that Grandma always read to me, the little green safe that holds pennies I squished on a railroad track, the Chinese Coke bottle that dad brought back from his trip to Asia. There's a lot of good stuff in there.
And then we get to the drawings. Stacks of paper covered in Crayola. I am looking for something good to show the princess - but there is nothing here. All of my recognizable drawings are of mama with wings, or me with tears. My writing is very legible for a six-year old, but it is still hard to read. Everything in this stack says "get well soon", "please come home" or "I miss you." They are not all for mama - some are for Grandma, and Grandpa, and Grandad too - all of them dying. Me trying to save them with markers and paper and praying. And none of it worked.
It is not often that I feel sorry for myself. And actually I don't feel sorry for myself now, but I read those papers - and I remember that little girl who wrote them on the night her mama died - and I do feel sorry for her.
1 comment:
I feel sad for that little girl too!! It was such a huge loss you as a child, your whole world was shattered. How does a child feel safe after that? The writing is is very good a 6 year old, and good for her to get that feeling out! It is so cool you kept memory stuff. I know my kids love to look back at my old stuff, although I don't have much.
XOXO
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