cold war

I was terrified of the Cold War.

The stepsisters tell me how the Russians are planning to drop nerve gas on us. They say it is slow and painful - worse than anything. They watch my face get still and follow me into the backyard laughing while I hide in the fort I built.

Tiffany says I will be OK. She said the Russians only hate people with dark hair and eyes - she said my blonde hair and blue eyes would save me. But little brother has dark hair and dark eyes - so does daddy. Everybody does except me and Anthony . . . and I don't want to be stuck with just him.

I have nightmares all the time. Can never sleep. Crazy figures it out . . she asks, and I tell. So when The Diary of Anne Frank is on TV - she says I have to watch it. I say no - beg, plead - but she insists.

She makes me sit there - makes me keep my eyes open. I cover my ears and watch Melissa Gilbert move into the attic. I whisper to myself over and over, "It's just Laura Ingalls. It's just Laura Ingalls."

When it is over - Crazy tells me what happened to the others - the people who couldn't hide - and it is just like Tiffany says. But then Crazy tells me that the Russians hate us all . . .that the nerve gas would kill everybody. Then she sends me to bed.

Maybe that is why I am the only Norwegian girl with a Holocaust history minor. The professor asked me once, "Why so many classes on World War II? There is lots of history to study."

I said I didn't know. But the truth is, I just want to make sure it couldn't really happen again